CONTROLLERS ARE INSECURE

Having run into many bossy individuals , I believe that those who want to control every aspect of what they encounter in life are emotionally insecure. The reasons seem varied to me but the result appears the same. They hate losing control of situations.

I've seen many examples of this. One of the first was at a school for the blind which I was forced to attend. One supervisor loved ordering us boys to do things for her. Instead of picking up the telephone, she sent one of us, usually me, to relay messages for her. We also were commandeered to carry laundry to and from the basement of the administration building. One afternoon, I was stopped while returning to the dorm by a rain shower for about ten minutes. I sheltered in a doorway  until the downpour passed. Instead of being praised for saving the laundry from a soaking, she bawled me out for being tardy.

Another nasty woman gave me plenty of grief as a young adult. She didn't like my long hair, bell-bottom jeans, and love of rock music. She criticized me for buying a radio which could pick up the audio from TV channels and then bought a colour TV two years later. She said her personal angel said it was all right to do that. This woman had a church in the basement of her house and ran it as if she was queen. It was her condemning my personal tastes from the pulpit which made me quit that sick little congregation.

I still run into bossy people today. They assume that everything has to be done their way or it's wrong. A certain county bus driver became pouty a few summers ago when the seniors she drove to Edmonton wanted to be let off at the casino first rather than at the mall. In similar ways, she got angry with me and others when we suggested she change her route. She, like all control freaks, hates last-minute changes to her plans.

What people like the ones I've mentioned need is boundaries. If they don't have them, they run roughshod over every one as they set up their own limits. Since I hadn't been taught how to politely but firmly object to those who crossed my boundaries, I suffered many trying situations. Now I know it's right to have personal boundaries of my own.

The theme of people crossing my personal boundaries is strong in all three of my memoirs. Read about the first two paperbacks at the Bruce Atchison's Books page. My most recent memoir is for sale at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Powell's Books.